Salesman of the Year

Humor can be a challenge to write. I admire standup comedians putting themselves in a position to crash and burn on stage if a joke flops. The great ones usually make fun of the fails and turn that into the joke. Writers do not have that luxurious opportunity.

I love reading and writing humorous stories and dialogue. It’s an odd feeling when writing something which is supposed to be funny because it does not usually make me laugh – out loud, anyway. I write something and think to myself, “Yeah. That’s funny.” Then I think, “Will everyone else find it funny? Will anyone else find it funny?” Every once in a great, great while – I will laugh out loud. Most likely, the parts which produce a giggle out of me are probably the least humorous to everyone else. Oh, well.

This next 100-word story, Salesman of the Year, I actually wrote while I was running. As soon as I got home, I scribbled it down on good, old-fashioned paper. Eventually, I whittled 250 words down to 100. This was my first attempt at a microfiction tale. I enjoyed writing it so much, I was prompted to write more. Feel free to “laugh inside.”

The salesman removes his straw hat and mops at his pate, savoring the porch’s shade before knocking.

“G’day, Madam.” An old woman ogles him through the cracked door, her mouth hinged open. “Before you run me off your lovely porch, please allow me to show you a few practically free items.” The door swings open as he plucks a brass plate from his case. “First item –”

“I’ll take it,” she says at once then disappears inside.

“Wonderful selection,” he crows to himself – his tenth success of the morning because everyone is in the market for a NO SOLICITING sign.

14 Comments

  1. This salesman made me smile, which is just as good as a chuckle in my book. I imagined he looked like “Edward Cullen”. Cheers!

    1. Thanks, Rory! I’ll take a smile any day. Interesting image. Why Edward Cullen?

  2. Janice Frankel

    Very cute!

    1. Thank you, Janice. I was aiming for witty and cute.

  3. racewalkergirl

    Yes, this did indeed make me laugh. Good job!

    1. Yay! Thanks, racewalkergirl. I hope people looked at you funny. 😜

  4. Love it, can he come to my house, I need one of those.

  5. Haha. Oh, excellent! 🙂

    1. Hey, Moz. Haha or Lol are both great reactions in my book!

  6. Oh, _well done, Candida! Good timing and irony in a familiar scene -super. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your new challenge with us – keep on keepin’ on!
    Irene

    1. Thank you so much, Irene. I appreciate your feedback and support!

  7. The phrase that made me smile the most – through the cracked door, her mouth _hinged_ open.

    1. Thanks, Michael, for sharing your smile with me!

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